THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT PROPERLY.

Oh, they laughed at us. They didn’t get the snare drums. They didn’t understand that ‘UNGH’ is both noun, verb and adjective.

But we have the last laugh. Come and laugh with us. HERE:

Where did all the snare drums in the world go?

CHRIS PHILIPS, K2 AND DJ KARIZMA FUCKING STOLE THEM.

All the world’s stolen snares and sex noises will be at Cargo on Rivington Street, EC2 on Wednesday 23 December. You may arrive at 8:00. Then there is a party, probably the best in Europe. And then ugly lights, everybody inspected in the small hours of Thursday morning.

DJs for the affair Chris Philips and K2 (dear old friends of mine with a grasp on the funk firmer than that of Silvio Berlusconi on the electoral system and judiciary of Italy) and DJ KARIZMA, flown in and pampered for the evening.

I will be on the VIP blowjobs-this-way guest list, because I deserve to be.

But I will not be attending, because I just moved to fucking Copenhagen and I will be at my girlfriend’s mum’s kill me please

Details: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=177682052108

Dear human beings:

GOOD GOD. UNGH!

The new album is here and it is a motherfucking monster. Excuse my French.

A bit of Curtis Mayfield in the mix. Jazz. Weirdness. Soul. A bit of monster heavy funk. The guy’s made progress.

Go and buy it. Because Jesse needs to get paid.

Bad haircut. Heavy funk.

I’m going to have to rip the album. Props to whoever posted this to YouTube.

I just learned that Craig Holliman of Cinema recently passed away.

He made a classic album, not just of Minneapolis funk but of… modern soul music. Bam. Done. Simple.

A really, really nice man from the little I knew of him, too, and condolences (belated) to all who knew him.

If anyone knows where to find the video of Put You in My Pocket please let me know.

I’ll keep posting this link until everyone’s heard it.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=588T6PPM

Still here.

Ah, Christmast. Mizzletoe an’ wine, etc. and so forth.  Christmast time.

Two things.

Do you like Minneapolis funk?

You do? Splendid.

Then download this:

http://theheaviestfunkintheworld.wordpress.com/2008/02/22/cinema-wrong-house/

or this:

http://theheaviestfunkintheworld.wordpress.com/2008/02/22/32-phreeze-phreeze/

What else?

Oh yes. KEITH CROUCH LEFT A COMMENT!

Yes, he did! He really did! He has the best snare drums!

Happy Christmast!

There was something wrong with these people.

Conjure. Mumbo jumbo. Hoodoo. Lashings of sexual intercourse.

Upfront. The albums featuring these tunes are (sometimes) available. You are supposed to buy them, not download them, because they are made by a genius, and the musicians deserve to be paid.

I’m posting these to induce you to go and buy all the Conjure and Kip Hanrahan albums available with the money you earned in your job, or with your drug deals and/ or gaggle of whores or stole from your parents.

Kip Hanrahan is one of the most important artists working in any medium today. His genre happens to be music.

Allen Touissaint, Olu Dara, David Murray, Leo Nocentelli, Eddie Harris, Lester Bowie, Michael Cain, Don Pullen, Robbie Ameen, Steve Swallow and Bobby Womack are on some of these tunes. Ritchie Flores, Fernando Saunders, Milton Cardona too. The Conjure albums are texts for the poet Ishmael Reed. The Kip Hanrahan albums are for describing thoughts, desires and fears you didn’t think anyone else ever had, and most of them are to do with sexual intercourse. This music is sui generis, but these happen to stink like an army of baboons on a humid day in a shut-down lard plant. All are produced (or, rather, directed) by Kip Hanrahan.

This is guitar-led bluesy r’n'b styled funk music. I think you’ll like it. If you like a blog called theheaviestfunkintheworld it’s pretty sure you’ll dig it.

CIVIL ATTACK!!!!!!

CRYING ON THE PHONE!!!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!

…that people are still downloading stuff. Quite a lot of people. 

I’ve been busy. 

I’m going to upload some more RIDICULOUSLY HEAVY FUNK MUSIC.

Tommorw. Also spelled ‘tomorrow’.